Lost in the Universe

I notice when my diet isn't clean, my behaviour changes. I get depressed much easier than usual. I think about the world on a bigger scale a lot more lately too.

What am I doing here?

What's the point?

And the more I think about these things, the more I see just how untalented I am. I'm not particularly skilled at anything. I guess you can say that I know how to write. Though my obvious laziness gets in the way of me completing an actual project. Truth is----I wish I had more inspiration on what the hell I'm suppose to do, and where do I fit in all of this nonsense.

Where is my proper place in the world amongst all of the chaos?

I need to move. This I know. The idea of uprooting myself after only 3 years of living in Montreal----frightens and excites me. Maybe I should go live in the US for 6 months. Then again, with the elections being what they are, I'm not entirely sure I want to anymore. Then again...the idea of living in New York sounds wonderful. I wonder what it would be like. Living in the city that never sleeps.

What people would I meet?

Who would I come to know?

Would they be good or bad?

Maybe I'd even find the person I'm mean to be with there in New York. Oddly enough...whenever I think about NY or the person I'm meant to be with, I don't think of just some stranger. I think of him. And when I start thinking about him, I also start thinking about Lyon. Living there instead just so that I could have another chance at bumping into him. Hopefully provoking some sort of latent love that he may still have for me.

Either way----

I know when its time to leave, and I can feel that the time has come. Like in the movie Chocolat, moving when the wind calls my name.