Money

I use to feel like making money was a number one priority for me. I'd always imagined pulling my child self out of the poverty I was raised in. It wasn't easy being one of two children, being raised by a single Mother. We grew up poor, and I'm not ashamed to say that. It taught me things. It taught me to go out and become an independent, self sufficient person. Not many people my age can do the same thing. Some are still 29 or 30, living at home and being a graduate---I can understand that completely. You're in a ton of debt, and no one wants to hire an undergrad, telling you that you need more education that you can no longer afford. Thankfully in my case, I found a way to get out of that loop, and proud to say I'm one of those graduates that don't fit in that statistic. No, I didn't get hired by some company out of luck. I made my own luck, and for a while, I went crazy with buying all sorts of things I really didn't need. Handbags, shoes, make-up, etc. And for awhile, it made me feel powerful and good. It was the first time I was able to afford such luxury items. Especially when I purchased my first Hermes scarf. But after about a year or so of fake friends, luxury items, promiscuous sex, drugs, alcohol, I began to feel very empty inside. Nothing I did anymore filled me with happiness. In fact, out of my first few years of making money, I soon came to the conclusion that I was actually happier when I was poor, and I was happier more often. I had things to live for, and goals to move toward. But once the dollars started rolling in---life got too easy, and everything about my life no longer matched who I really was on the inside. Everything around me was superficial and I hated it.

There was only one thing that I wanted and still want---Love. I'd trade everything to have real, gooey, lovey dovey romantic love. Someone to be with. I had it once. We were crazy for each other. But, nothing truly lasts forever, and it's ok to hope for something so simple. Maybe that's my new goal to move towards. Finding love during my minimalist adventure.

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